Monday, October 26, 2026
Monday has a public-relations problem. It arrives every seven days, whether invited or not, and immediately gets blamed for everything from traffic to existential despair.
Not today.
We’re going to Cambodia to investigate two men who apparently built a luxury resort with sticks, Finland to learn how to remain vertical in winter, and an auction where somebody spent more than a million dollars on a computer that predates the concept of useful software.
We’ll also examine a CD player that costs as much as a respectable automobile, listen to computers pretending to be people, celebrate a founding father of funk, and set a couple of ropes on fire.
A perfectly reasonable way to begin the week.
Two Guys Built a Luxury Resort With a Stick. Or Did They?
I was eating pho in Boise when the TV introduced me to two men apparently capable of constructing a five-star jungle resort using nothing more than sharpened sticks, mud, and an admirable disregard for building permits.
They dug swimming pools, sculpted staircases, fashioned architectural wonders, and somehow never appeared to need a Home Depot.
Naturally, I was impressed. Also suspicious.
These videos belong to a sprawling genre of so-called primitive survival construction, in which people build elaborate houses, underground pools, and other amenities that would normally require a general contractor, a civil engineer, and a small army of subcontractors.
The trouble is that some productions aren’t nearly as primitive as they appear. Investigations have documented abandoned construction sites, cement bags, modern tools, and substantial environmental damage in Cambodian forests.
That doesn’t prove every builder is faking it. But it does suggest that the camera occasionally leaves out some rather important members of the construction crew.
I still enjoy watching. I just find myself wondering whether the next scene will feature two men carving a helicopter out of a coconut.
And whether the helicopter will have a swimming pool.
How Do Old People in Finland Stay Upright?
Finland is a country where winter seems to be less a season than a permanent member of the household.
Which raises an important question: How do older Finns walk around on ice without spending half their retirement in traction?
Part of the answer is wonderfully unromantic: they put traction devices on their shoes.
In February, the Finnish city of Espoo announced that it would distribute nearly 500 pairs of heel-mounted ice grips to older residents and participants in exercise programs. Two 80-year-old recipients explained that they already used walking poles during winter but welcomed the additional grip.
There is something appealingly sensible about this.
In America, we sometimes approach icy sidewalks as though they’re a test of character. In Finland, apparently, the objective is to reach the grocery store without demonstrating the laws of gravity.
The lesson isn’t that Finns have superior balance. It’s that they take slippery pavement seriously enough to equip themselves for it.
I’m especially fond of the walking poles. They lend a person the appearance of someone undertaking an ambitious Alpine expedition, even when the destination is the pharmacy.
Somebody Paid $1.15 Million for a Computer That Can’t Run Anything
An original Apple-1 computer sold at a Bonhams auction on October 14 for $1,148,200.
That’s not a typo. It’s a million dollars, plus enough change to purchase an extremely nice used car.
The computer, known as the Hatfield Apple-1, is operational, signed by Steve Wozniak, and accompanied by a letter from Steve Jobs. Its original owner, Fred Hatfield, had complained about the Apple-1’s limited software. Jobs offered him an upgrade to an Apple II motherboard for an additional $400.
Hatfield declined.
Decades later, two bidders spent 28 minutes fighting over the machine, pushing it well beyond its estimated $500,000–$800,000 value.
The fascinating part isn’t that the computer is old. It’s that someone paid a fortune for a machine whose practical computing capabilities are laughable by modern standards.
Of course, nobody buys a rare Apple-1 to run spreadsheets. They buy a piece of technological history.
Still, I can’t help imagining its new owner calling technical support.
“What’s the problem?”
“Well, I’ve spent $1.15 million on a computer, and it doesn’t have Wi-Fi.”
“Have you tried turning your expectations off and back on again?”
The $45,000 CD Player
For anyone concerned that modern technology has become too affordable, Japanese audio manufacturer Esoteric has an answer.
The company’s new Grandioso K1XE Super Audio CD player costs $45,000.
And if you’re worried that your $45,000 CD player might be held back by an insufficiently extravagant power supply, Esoteric offers the Grandioso PS1XE for another $19,000.
The player, scheduled for November availability, features an elaborate disc transport, advanced digital-to-analog conversion, vibration control, and enough engineering terminology to frighten a reasonably educated electrical engineer.
I have no doubt that it is beautifully made.
I also have no doubt that somewhere, someone is listening to a $45,000 CD player through speakers positioned behind a ficus.
High-end audio is a fascinating world because the pursuit of perfection can become indistinguishable from the pursuit of ever more expensive equipment.
For $64,000, including the optional power supply, I would expect the music to sound spectacular.
I’d also expect the artist to come over and perform it personally.
The Computer Has Learned to Sound Human
Remember when you could identify a computer-generated voice immediately?
It spoke with the warmth of an airport parking-garage announcement, paused in peculiar places, and pronounced ordinary words as though they had been discovered in an archaeological excavation.
Those days are rapidly disappearing.
Modern AI-generated speech can reproduce surprisingly natural rhythm, emphasis, hesitation, and conversational tone. Some systems can maintain a spoken exchange rather than merely reading a prepared script.
That’s impressive technology. It’s also a new problem for anyone who has ever answered the telephone.
A convincing voice no longer guarantees a human being is speaking. And even a familiar-sounding voice isn’t necessarily proof of who’s on the other end.
Which means our old method of determining whether a caller is trustworthy—“Well, they certainly sounded like a real person”—is becoming obsolete.
I have a modest proposal: AI callers should be required to introduce themselves by saying, “Hello. I am a computer, and I’m about to waste some of your time.”
Come to think of it, that would be an improvement over quite a few human callers.
Happy 75th Birthday, Bootsy Collins. The Mothership Is Still Double-Parked.
Today we celebrate Bootsy Collins, born October 26, 1951, and therefore 75 years old today.
Bootsy played bass with James Brown, helped define the sound of Parliament-Funkadelic, and proved conclusively that a man can wear a star-shaped pair of sunglasses and still be the most musically serious person in the room.
His bass lines are among the funkiest things ever committed to magnetic tape. His wardrobe suggests that an entire galaxy exploded inside a costume department.
And his stage persona has always been gloriously larger than life.
Happy birthday, Bootsy. Seventy-five years on Earth, and still dressed like you’re just visiting.
Today’s Puzzle: A Burning Question
You have two ropes and a lighter.
Each rope takes exactly one hour to burn completely, but neither burns at a uniform rate. Half a rope might burn in five minutes, while the other half takes 55.
You can light either end of either rope.
How can you measure exactly 45 minutes?
No clocks, no rulers, no cutting the ropes into carefully measured pieces.
Just two ropes, a lighter, and whatever remains of your dignity after you discover the answer.
We’ll settle this tomorrow.
Yesterday’s Puzzle: Three Switches, Three Bulbs
Yesterday, you were outside a closed room containing three incandescent light bulbs. Three switches outside controlled the bulbs, but you could enter the room only once.
How could you determine which switch controlled which bulb?
Here’s the solution.
Turn on the first switch and leave it on for several minutes. Then turn it off and turn on the second switch. Leave the third switch off.
Enter the room.
The illuminated bulb belongs to switch two. Of the two dark bulbs, the warm one belongs to switch one, and the cold one belongs to switch three.
The trick is realizing that a light bulb provides information even when it isn’t producing light.
This puzzle becomes considerably less reliable with modern LED bulbs, which don’t necessarily get hot enough to give themselves away.
Yet another example of technological progress ruining a perfectly good intellectual exercise.
That’s Monday’s collection of technological marvels, expensive eccentricities, and preventable injuries.
May your computers cooperate, your shoes grip the pavement, and your music sound wonderful without requiring a second mortgage.
And if two men emerge from your backyard having built a luxury swimming pool out of mud and bamboo, check for an excavator behind the bushes.
